Welcome back, Friends…

One of the many photos that I fell in love with when looking at my work. A man overlooking Edinburgh atop of Arthur’s Seat.

On a Christmas morning some time in the early to mid-nineties, I unwrapped my first camera: a Minolta 35mm point and shoot. It was not a gift I had asked for, but my mother somehow knew it was just the gift I needed. Perhaps it was because I used disposable cameras religiously, whether it was for a week away at church camp, or if it was for an impromptu styled fashion shoot on a long summer day with my childhood friend Amy, who lived just a few blocks down the street. There was something about cameras and photography that I was drawn to my entire life. I spent hours pouring over the same family photo albums, asking my Grandma to tell me the stories of each photo between bowls of vanilla ice-cream topped with smartees, those pastel colored chalky candies. (Your grandma had werthers in her purse, my grandma had a bowl of smartees in her cupboard.)

Photography has always had a hold on me. I still have (embarrassing) photos of my friends and I in that awkward middle-school to early high school phase, from school dances, and from summer camps and youth group trips. When I lived in Seoul, South Korea after graduating college, I was the friend who documented everything. I would bring a Diana mini on nights out, loaded with 35mm film with fresh batteries in the flash, snapping photos of my friends and I posing, living out our twenties in one of the best cities in the world. I brought my first digital dslr with me nearly every outing in Seoul. I was constantly documenting my life there, not realizing I was learning my style and beginning to hone my craft. I eventually started to get hired to shoot my friends’ dance parties at basement dive bars (they were always so sweaty and fun), and even shoot some engagement photos.

Documenting life has been second nature to me for as long as I can remember. When I moved to Chicago, I began pursuing a career in photography. After not setting boundaries, I quickly burnt-out. Shooting on the weekends with a full-time job was exhausting, especially when I was shooting 12-14 hours straight for weddings on weekends (again, I had not boundaries in place). In 2016, my pursuit of photography unintentionally went out the window when I started teaching yoga.

Teaching yoga was a beautiful chapter in my life, and some day I may very well return to it. It took me being away from it for six months to realize that it had been sucking my creative energy for years. Although I loved creating playlists and mindful flows, and I especially loved seeing my students and fellow yoga teachers each class, it was not nearly as soul-satisfying as finding those ordinary yet beautiful moments in life, and capturing them forever with a “click” of my shutter. After six months away from yoga teaching after my studio suddenly closed, I realized that every other creative pursuit in my life went out the window when I taught yoga. Yoga was beautiful, but yoga is not my purpose.

Had it not been for a series of events, including my yoga studio abruptly closing last year, I very well may still be teaching yoga, content and having moments of satisfaction, but not living up to my full potential. About a month after the studio closed, I was on a vacation with my family, and my 11-year-old beloved camera I so lovingly named “The Beast” (because it weighed 8 pounds and gave me knots in my back every time I took it on a trip and lugged it for 25,000+ steps daily) finally gave out. Though I probably could have had it repaired, I knew it was time to say good-bye. When the Beast broke, I had to either invest in a new camera and lenses, or say goodbye to photography for the time being. I knew I couldn’t ever let it go completely, and I knew I would never really be satisfied with just my phone camera. So I came to terms with the reality of the situation and figured out a way to pay for a new camera and lenses. I was ready to do this photography thing once again.

But this time I would do it differently:

I wouldn’t take just any job.

I would charge my worth.

I would put my wildest dream for a photography business out there for the world to see, even if some would question, “wait, that’s a thing?!”

To say the journey to getting this website published and this photography dream up and running again is an understatement.

I’m going to be brutally honest. Perhaps the biggest obstacle in getting from point A to this point in time where I’m screaming across the inter webs, “I’m here! Look!” was imposter syndrome.

It is this comparison to others, as well as imposter syndrome telling me that I may not be good enough, that has kept me from putting myself and my work out there again. It was so bad for awhile that I was afraid to even look at the photos I’ve taken over the last 10 years, worried that I would be disappointed that I would not have enough work to put on my new website.

But the opposite happened. As I paged through old work, my confidence began to grow.

“Oh, this is good!” “I love that one!” “Ahhhh, that’s so beautiful!” “That moment is so sweet.” I found myself saying.

As I sorted through more and more photos into folders to be uploaded, my confidence began to grow.

I take beautiful photos.

I am a magic moment finder.

I have a solid portfolio.

But most of all, I am capable.

Over the course of a few hours, the dread of looking at my old work turned into pride, and then excitement. It was if I was seeing what others had been saying about my work for years. It’s beautiful. It’s not perfect, but it’s mine. My work is a testament to the way I see beauty, light, and love in the world, and by golly, I want to get back our there and hunt for magic moments again.

So here I am, trying to be as authentically myself as possible, merging my passion for travel and photography into my dream business (did I mention I also got a Master’s Degree in Sustainable Tourism during that detour!?). Yes, I want to take documentary style photos of you enjoying your dream trip. I want to capture you in that epic destination, that cute Parisian cafe, that beautiful beachside town. I want to capture the smiles, the wonder, the story of your journey. I whole-heartedly believe that travel is one of the most empowering things we can do, and I think it is worthy to pay someone to capture it.

So here I am, putting this dream out there for all the world to see (or maybe just my friends and family at first). Let me help you plan your dream trip, and then come along to capture it all so you can have professional photos to cherish for the rest of your life.

I will still be taking photos in the Chicago area, of course, of families, couples, milestones. Although I still do not have a dream of becoming a full time wedding photographer, if you are planning a small backyard wedding, a courthouse hitching, or an intimate elopement on the side of a mountain, I am your girl. The giant weddings no longer feel authentic to me. I want the small, intimate affairs. So if that’s you, I will still definitely shoot your big (small) day.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with me, and if you’ve made it this far, I thank you for reading to the end. This is my heart. It’s been messy getting here, but I’m ready to see where this all takes me now that I’m older, wiser, and know exactly what I want out of this photo business.